satirebylillpop is a site dedicated to seeing humor in the crazy world in which we find ourselves. Politicians are the primary targets, but sports figures, movie stars and others are victimized when appropriate--and funny!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Brewing Boston Tea in California

Satire by John W. Lillpop

Rarely has the California Franchise Tax Board saved me money. In fact, I usually end up sending the vipers and crooks running our state a few hundred dollars (or more) in taxes owed around this time of year.

This year is different. Dramatically so.

That is so because California is so broke that tax refunds are now on hold for the first time in state history.

How does that benefit me, you ask, since I usually have to make up an underpayment, rather than receive a refund?

It has to do with deductive logic.

Since the state of California refuses to refund money to those who have paid too much in taxes, why shouldn't those of us whom have underpaid be entitled to do to California that which California is doing to those foolish enough to overpay?

What's good for the goose is good for the gander, what goes around comes around, and banalities like that?

Inspired by that epiphany, I filed my 2008 California income tax return and included the following cover letter:

January 28, 2009

Franchise Tax Board
Fresno, Californian

Dear Sir, Madam, or Undecided:

Attached please find my fully executed California 540 Income Tax Return for the year ended December 31, 2008.

As indicated on Page 2, $2,306.23 is owed in unpaid taxes. In years gone by, a check in that amount would have been dutifully attached to settle my tax liability.

However, in view of the state's $42 billion deficit and the onerous policy of arbitrarily withholding refund payments, I have concluded that California can no longer be trusted with large sums of taxpayer money.

Accordingly, I am withholding $2,306.23 from the state treasury until such time as the governor and the legislature achieve a balanced budget without raising taxes or playing word games by calling taxes "revenue enhancers" or other such nonsense.

A simple means test applies here: If "it" results in more cash flowing into the hands of the corrupt retards known as Democrat politicians, "it" is a damn tax. Period!

Denying liberals tax dollars is like keeping pedophiles away from scantily clothed children--it just does not get much better!

Historians will ultimately see my stand as a bold act of patriotism, a selfless gesture taken to advance the interests of millions of hard-working people who live, work, and play in California.

I am confident that future generations will thank me for brewing Boston Tea in California!

In closing, I remain sincerely opposed to any and everything that dunderheads "working" in government do!

John W. Lillpop
San Jose Ca