satirebylillpop is a site dedicated to seeing humor in the crazy world in which we find ourselves. Politicians are the primary targets, but sports figures, movie stars and others are victimized when appropriate--and funny!

Sunday, September 11, 2011

W. Shoots Beaver With Military Binoculars!

Satire by John W. Lillpop

Deluded crack pots from Texas and other third-world states would look at the photo W. and automatically assume that he is performing some act of heroism for America.

Perhaps he is looking for terrorists? Or tax and spend liberals who need to be ‘taken out,’ to use a Jimmy Hoffa expression?

Maybe the president is looking for illegal aliens from Mexico, the good-hearted, hard-working hombres that W. adores so completely and for whom he would like to execute a “presidential pardon” backdated to January 19, 2009?

Forget all the platitudes for W., patriots!

As it turns out, W. was browsing the net and learned on that Catalina Robayo is loathe to wear knickers.

Which caused W. to requisition those high-technology military binoculars for some high quality beaver shooting!

Someone needs to tell W. that Columbia is in South America, not in the suburbs of Dallas!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Sniper Fire Survivor Doubts Dick Cheney's Veracity

Satire by John W. Lillpop

In a moment of insightful truth, conservative columnist William Safire once provoked a fire storm when he accused then co-president Hillary Clinton of being a “congenital liar."

Safire's column did not set well with Bill Clinton, whom threatened to punch Safire on the nose, were if not for the fact that he (Bill Clinton) was the elected half of the manacled duo.

Other Clintonistas rushed to Hillary's defense by objecting to the word "congenital," which means inherited or a medical condition existing at birth. Egged on by Hillary herself, defenders pointed out that Hillary's ongoing feud with truth did not commence until after she was introduced to, and paired with, Slick Willie.

Slick Willie called that a "damnable lie" and threatened to punch Hillary on the nose, were it not for the fact that it was Easter Sunday and he had an urgent appointment in the Oral Office with Monica Lewinsky right after church.

This rancid page from American history (best forgotten) springs up because Secretary Hillary Clinton appeared before Congress and, during the course of her testimony, cast dispersions of the veracity of former VP Dick Cheney.

As reported, in part, at

"Hillary Clinton returned on Wednesday to her former place of business, Capitol Hill, and offered a sometimes testy review of her first three months as Secretary of State.

"The topics of discussion before the House Foreign Affairs committee ranged from the $900 million in aid pledged to Palestinians in the West Bank and Gaza to Dick Cheney's claim that classified documents prove the Bush administration's interrogation methods on suspected terrorists yielded vital intelligence

"Well, it won't surprise you that I don't consider him a particularly reliable source of information," Clinton said of the former vice president."

Mind you, this from the mouth of the presidential candidate who, during the heat of the 2008 campaign, claimed that ducking sniper fire while invading Bosnia for hubby bubba made her battle tough and ready for that 3 am call on the Red Phone.

Unfortunately for the one time "inevitable queen," a CBS reporter, who had accompanied Hillary on her Bosnia trip in 1996, unearthed a clip of video that totally debunked her "dodging sniper fire" campaign rhetoric.

As reported at the

"As has now been conclusively established by video film and news photographs, Hillary Clinton did NOT come under sniper fire in Bosnia in March 1996 when she made a morale-boosting visit to U.S. troops enforcing the 1995 Dayton Peace Agreement. But she is taking plenty of bullets for her over-dramatic accounts of the trip, and acknowledged on Monday that she had made a "misstatement." She said it should be treated as a "minor blip."

From that same report, this, in part:

"U.S. Air Force journalist Don Jackson was standing on the back of a flatbed pick-up truck filming the event when Clinton's plane touched down. Here is his account:

Mrs. Clinton arrived to a flight line full of well-wishers, both military and civilian, accompanied by her staff as well as comedian Sinbad and singer Sheryl Crow who were there to entertain troops.

To set the record straight, there was no enemy fire, and no imminent danger. If there had been any danger, "well-wishers" would not have been allowed on the tarmac, much less allowing me to stand above everyone else on the back of a truck.

And Sinbad and Sheryl Crow would've been running for their lives instead of taking the time to be interviewed by yours truly, on the tarmac. Mrs. Clinton's [claim] is a lie, plain and simple."

Bottom line: When it comes to the raw truth, Hillary Clinton appears to be uniquely unqualified to critique anyone's "reliability as a source of information!"

Friday, February 27, 2009

Obama's Deficit Fix: Weed out Wasteful Philanthropy

Satire by John W. Lillpop

After approving a trillion-dollar Pig Roast for the benefit of reckless liberals in Congress, President Obama now seeks to soothe public angst over those annual, multi-trillion dollar deficits that his "solution" will bring to pass.

Refusing to allow truth to interfere with his Marxist MO, Obama acted decisively by declaring, ""I work for the American people, and I'm determined to bring the change that the people voted for last November. And that means cutting what we don't need to pay for what we do."

Obama's latest proves that acting "decisively" is a plus only when one acts wisely as well.

Back to the details: For a brief moment, one's pulse quickens, far short of a "thrill running up and down my leg," mind you, but still enough to qualify as hope.

Perhaps the president has seen through the folly of wasting hundreds of billions of dollars to prevent STDs, or for terminating pregnancies caused by over stimulation among the unwashed masses?

Or maybe a wiser, more mature Obama, feeling his oats after 40 days in office, now recognizes scads of other liberal pork as worthy candidates for "cutting what we don't need to pay for what we do."

Alas, the audacity of hope drops quicker than the DJIA immediately after an Obama speech on the economy.

Instead of taking on Nancy Pelosi and the other far left loons and their Pork, this new president has decided to balance the budget by attacking a hereto scared cow: Charitable giving!

As reported in the Washington Times, in part:

"Democrats and Republicans poured cold water on President Obama's budget plan to cut down on wealthy taxpayers' charitable giving tax deductions, the second of his ambitious cost-savings plans to earn lawmakers' scorn, and underscoring the legislative minefield he is entering.

Still, the charitable giving deduction reduction, which would limit deductions for couples making $250,000 or individuals making $200,000, provoked the most heat Thursday. Mr. Obama is counting on that provision to raise $179.8 billion over 10 years."

An Obama spokesman rejected criticism of the proposed Jihad on Philanthropy by pointing out that, with the president's "take responsibility" budget plans, the federal government will assume responsibility for meeting the needs of all citizens from cradle to grave, thereby eliminating the need for charitable giving.

As the spokesman explained, the Obama budget plan will cut out the middleman in the process of helping the poor and needy. Higher income tax rates on the rich will cause their money to reach the underprivileged much more quickly, and with less administrative expense.

Barack Obama: America's black Robin Hood, spreading poverty from sea to shining sea!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

America's Next Great Civil Rights Fight: Equality for the Rich

Satire by John W. Lillpop

Throughout the ages, America has opened her arms and made room for a diverse mix of people and circumstances. We have overcome prejudices against women, African-Americans, Hispanics, and other racial minorities.

Our big tent has expanded to include gays and lesbians, transvestites, the handicapped, the blind, the stupid (Mostly liberals), Muslims, Buddhists, atheists, agnostics, Jews, Hindus, and other religious minorities.

America has embraced " Our diversity is our greatest strength" as the national slogan in our multicultural potpourri of insufferable tolerance and political correctness gone amuck.

Despite all of the social "progress" that has blessed this land, there is one class of people, despised like none other, for whom the bells of tolerance and acceptance have yet to toll.

That, would be the rich, the most abused, maligned, misunderstood, and persecuted minority in human history.

Being rich is such a wretched offense that, in and of itself, it can mitigate the social advantages that would normally accrue to those who are in one or more of the "protected" categories.

For example, a blind and deaf, non-English speaking, pregnant, lesbian, Hispanic illegal alien who suffers from chronic alcoholism and drug addiction, and who is a practicing Muslim terrorist specializing in IEDs, would normally be a favorite daughter to ACLU and La Raza lawyers, government bureaucrats, and liberal politicians looking for a victim to exploit for cheap political gain.

However, let that same miserable urchin have more than $1,000. in the bank, and be in possession of an automobile more snazzy than a 1990 Saturn with 300,000 miles on it, and you have a veritable Untouchable on your hands.

According to liberals, being rich is one of the most unpatriotic and un-American offenses that one can commit, nearly as unforgivable as blasphemy against the Holy Ghost.

Unless, that is, one's name happens to be Obama, Pelosi, Kennedy, Gore, Rockefeller, Bloomberg, Clinton, Soros, Winfrey, or any number of rich liberals whom are immune from the type of wealth-based character flaws that doom conservatives.

When you think about it, though, the rich should pay LESS, not more, taxes than the rest of us.

After all, the rich do not use public schools, opting instead to send their children to private schools.

The rich do not collect food stamps, welfare payments, disability checks, or unemployment perks.

The rich do not depend on the U.S. military to educate, feed, and house their children, preferring instead to send their kids to Yale, Harvard, Stanford, or Princeton.

The rich do not urinate in public and make pests of themselves outside Home Depot stores while waiting for a $5.00 "job opportunity" to appear.

The rich do not rely on public defenders to work their way out from under silly scrapes with the law.

The rich do not send their pregnant, unmarried daughters to Planned Parenthood or other public infanticide outlets, preferring instead to whisk their 'child with child' off to a castle nestled discreetly in the Swiss Alps where the whole sordid affair can be handled with dignity and sans unwanted attention.

Only a morally bankrupt institution, like the Democrat Party for example, would consider it acceptable to force people who use the least services to pay the most taxes!

This gross injustice must not stand. The American sense of fairness and equality demands that the yoke of discrimination not burden those, who through no fault of their own, are rich.

We must pass a constitutional amendment to extend the protection and dignity of equality to the most vulnerable minority in our society--the filthy rich.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Ben Bernanke and the Unabridged "May Happen" List for 2009

By John W. Lillpop

Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke made instant headline news by telling Congress that America's gut-wrenching recession MAY end in 2009.

His words brought immediate relief to Wall Street investors and others worried about America's dire economic circumstances, including President Obama who is not sure whether it is better to tell the American people that it will take many years to heal the mess, or to promise a miraculous halving of the deficit by the end of his first term.

While the "Bernanke Bounce" was a welcome change of pace after six consecutive sessions of dreadful news, the Fed Chair made a number of other forecasts which he believes are just about as likely as an economic recovery in 2009.

Bernanke's prognosis includes the following "May Happen" duds:

* Mahmoud Ahmadinejad may convert to Judaism and give Iran's enrichment centrifuges to Israel during his Bar Mitzvah;

* Mayor Antonio Villagarosa may make it a misdemeanor to speak or write Spanish anywhere in Los Angeles;

* Nancy Pelosi may announce that due to her unexpected pregnancy, her views on abortion have dramatically changed: She may carry the fetus to term in order to get that extra tax deduction;

* Bank of America may announce that it has discovered an accounting error which reveals that the firm is actually flush with cash: B of A may return all bail out money it received, plus 18 percent interest, to the U.S. Treasury by March 7;

* After meeting Barack Obama, Bill Maher may announce that he now believes in God;

* Rahm Emanuel may leave the Obama administration to join Hamas in its noble fight against Zionist pigs;

* George W. Bush may be required to retake, for the third time, a remedial English class before being hired to greet customers at that store in Dallas;

* President Obama may leave Michelle and his two daughters for the affections of a white community organizer with a terrific jump shot and great dunking skills;

* New York Times columnist Judith Warner may admit that she is a white community organizer with a terrific jump shot and great dunking skills;

* VP Joe Biden may admit that he took one of those on-line IQ tests, and is only slightly below Hermit the Frog when it comes to raw intellect;

* Pope Benedict may announce that Nancy Pelosi has been excommunicated for getting pregnant after the age of 65;

* Sean Penn may be baptized as a Mormon and return his Oscar due to "moral concerns" about the lifestyle choices of Harvey Milk;

* Hugo Chavez may outlaw socialism, impose a four year term limit on the Venezuelan presidency, effective immediately, and sign over all of Venezuelan's oil reserves to the U.S. Marines;

* Chris Matthews may have a lobotomy to treat that "thrill running up my leg" when he listens to President Obama;

* Tim Geithner may announce that his tax problem was not a software error after all. He may turn himself over to the IRS, sign a written confession, and write a To Do Book titled,: Cheating on Your Taxes for Dummies;

Recovery in 2009? Do not go to Las Vegas and bet big money on it!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Divorce, In Keeping with Sharia Law

Satire by John W. Lillpop

Snobbish American men who regard Sharia Law as an inferior abomination may wish to reconsider that judgment, at least when it comes to divorce settlements.

Unlike American divorce laws, which assume that every husband is a wife beater, adulterer, and corrupting influence on the children, Sharia law is infinitely more balanced and fair.

In a court operating in accordance with Sharia law the following principle applies: She gets the home, all of the couple's assets, and his social security.

He gets her head and bloody remains!

There are no alimony or child support payments to argue over, no divisive restraining orders, no messy visitation rights, blah,blah,blah.

Under Sharia law, the man does not need to waste tens of thousands of dollars to hire a shyster lawyer.

A sharp ax will suffice.

Praise be to Allah!

The latest enlightenment concerning the Religion of Peace was delivered by Muzzammil Hassan, a Muslim TV mogul from New York who hacked off his wife's head.

Her offense? Aasiya Hassan, Muzzammil's wife, had the temerity and the audacity to file for divorce!

As the ax-wielding hubby argued so eloquently, the wayward woman was not authorized to file for divorce; thus, the only option left for the abused Muzzammil was to send the renegade female to Allah, special delivery.

Another advantage to the way that Muzzammil settled his domestic dispute: The divorce was final, effective immediately. There will be no appeal!

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Can the Feminization of Wall Street Bail Out America?

By John W. Lillpop

Those who believe that a few trillion dollars of taxpayer money is urgently needed to stimulate the listless economy and create millions of new jobs may have overlooked a much simpler, less costly solution.

According to host Robin Roberts and reporter Claire Shipman of "Good Morning America," the meltdown of America could have been avoided if estrogen, rather than testosterone, were the dominant hormone among Wall Street and Bank executives.

As reported at, in part:

"Robin Roberts and reporter Claire Shipman eagerly touted a theory, recently highlighted by a liberal New York Times columnist, that the problems on Wall Street could have been avoided if women were in charge.

As video of bank executives who testified Wednesday in front of Congress appeared onscreen, Roberts mused, "As we saw, the nation's top bankers were grilled on Capitol Hill. Take a look...What do they all have in common? Well, for one thing, they're all men."

Shipman then lectured, "Greed and glory and then risk and disaster on Wall Street. Could testosterone be to blame?"

Of course, many women enjoy speculating that there would be fewer wars, and that the world would be a "kinder, gentler" place, if only women were in charge.

However, some of the top stories making news these days make such talk seem sexist bordering on blasphemy.

Consider, for instance, the outrage that Hillary Rodham Clinton sparked when she announced that the U.S. would not allow human rights concerns to trump America's cooperation with China on the global economy and global warming.

As reported at Yahoo News, in part:

"Paying her first visit to Asia as the top US diplomat, Clinton said the United States would continue to press China on long-standing US concerns over human rights such as its rule over Tibet.

'But our pressing on those issues can't interfere on the global economic crisis, the global climate change crisis and the security crisis,' Clinton told reporters in Seoul just before leaving for Beijing.

T. Kumar of Amnesty International USA said the global rights lobby was 'shocked and extremely disappointed' by Clinton's remarks."

So much for the kinder, gentler Hildabeast!

The other major story involving an estrogen-crazed politician concerns House Speaker Nancy Pelosi who took a peek at the Pope while in Rome.

Pope Benedict, leader of the male-dominated Catholic Church, chastised Pelosi for her position on abortion when he told her, "Catholic politicians have a duty to protect life at all stages of development."

One would expect a mother and grandmother (several times over) to immediately identify with and confirm the Pontiff's life-affirming sentiment.

However, Pelosi does not appear willing to alter her support for the infanticide "choice" that has cost 50 million innocent human fetuses their lives since Roe V. Wade.

Can an infusion of estrogen cure America's problems and bring about a kinder, gentler citizenry?

Not if the behaviors of Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi are any indication of how the "weaker sex" does things!