satirebylillpop is a site dedicated to seeing humor in the crazy world in which we find ourselves. Politicians are the primary targets, but sports figures, movie stars and others are victimized when appropriate--and funny!

Thursday, May 03, 2007

W's Early Hurricane Warning to Governor Blanco, Mayor Nagin

Satire By John W. Lillpop

(An open Letter)

January 22, 2007

Dear Governor Blanco and Mayor Nagin:

Where does the time go? Here we are just a few months away from the official start of the 2007 hurricane season. It seems like only yesterday Mother Nature was beating up poor black people in New Orleans and environs.

With your help, I might add.

My purpose in writing in January is to remind you of the inherent dangers in the Big Easy, especially during hurricane season. I hope you are both aware of the fact that New Orleans is below sea level. This fact was repeatedly announced in the news and was on television in August and September of 2005.

Because you are below sea level, flooding is a real possibility if a major hurricane lands in your city. Which reminds me of my next point: Louisiana, including New Orleans, is what we call a "Gulf" state where hurricanes are quite common.

Follow so far? To recap: You are below sea level in a city where major hurricanes can and do happen.

Below seal level+hurricane danger= Possibility of flooding and loss of life and

In reviewing my "lessons learned" file from 2005, I think it wise to pass on a few tips for the new season:

-Michael Brown is no longer with FEMA, so you will not be able to blame your failures on "brownie" this year. In addition, Mr. Chertoff's days are numbered, so he will probably not be your fall guy this Fall.

-Because my poll numbers are already so putrid, you can blame me all you like. However, it will not make a bit of difference, besides I am "termed out." It's in an amendment to the Constitution if you ever have a spare moment to read.

-Mayor Nagin, if you could start moving buses to high ground now, you might save some lives. Waiting until the storm hits and then bitching because your buses are all under water is not good strategery!

-Governor Blanco will you kindly not tell anyone that the levees are OK until someone with normal intelligence can assess the situation? You were no doubt well intentioned last time when you gave the "all clear," but that faulty call resulted in unnecessary loss of lives and property.

-Mayor Nagin, if you would kindly not tell the media that you have ordered XXX body bags until a normal person has evaluated the situation. In 2005, you announced that 20,000 body bags had been ordered which added to the hysteria of the media and your Democrat pals looking to score political points.

Above all, remember this is not issue about Democrat vs Republican or liberal vs conservative. We are all members of the same team and will sink or swim together. No pun intended.

Until next time, I remain your Faithful Federal Father Figure,


John Lillpop is a recovering liberal