Time Magazine's Person of the Year: Another 2nd Place Finish for Al Gore!

Satire By John Lillpop

Pity poor Al Gore.

Coming in second place seems to be a worrisome habit, an addiction to losing that haunts America's bloated environmentalist, or "green fairy" as he is known among rugged mountain men in East Tennessee.

Recall that just slightly over seven years ago, on December 12, 2000 to be exact, the United States Supreme Court ruled that Big Al's attempt to cherry pick Florida counties for recounting would not be in America's best interest.

Thus, the Supreme Court gave us W as president, which was the best they could do at the time.

Pity that the Court was unable to select from names like Romney, Tancredo, and Hunter in lieu of the dyslexic cowboy from Texas. But the five sane justices who saw through Gore's chicanery were forced to choose between Big Al and Crazy George.

Now Al Gore has another colossal failure to add to his resume: He came in 2nd in the Time Magazine Person of the Year Award for 2007.

Second, that is, to Vladimir Putin the Russian president, prime minister, chief executioner, and all other titles the former KGB thug has bestowed upon himself.

Putin is apparently slightly more socialist than Gore, a vital consideration in the minds of the leftists at Time Magazine.

Rather than falling into despondency, Al Gore and his fans should celebrate the fact that the former VP came in ahead of J.K. Rowling in the balloting.

Rowling is the author who inspired several Harry Potter films, a work that is infinitely more believable and better for the planet than Al Gore's fanciful "An Inconvenient Truth," which is just too silly.

Apparently the editors at Time were swayed by Gore's undeserved Oscar and Nobel Peace Prize, both of which where awarded to our pompous former VP by leftists looking to ridicule America.

How else to explain Gore's finish ahead of the obviously more talented J.K.?

Still, the Al Gore team is no doubt working overtime to spin their guy's 2nd place finish into a rousing victory.

After all, how many jolly green giants can claim that it took two demented presidents to bring them down in the new millennium?