satirebylillpop is a site dedicated to seeing humor in the crazy world in which we find ourselves. Politicians are the primary targets, but sports figures, movie stars and others are victimized when appropriate--and funny!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

About Those 18 Million Votes Cast for Hillary Clinton

By John W. Lillpop

Pummeled into submission by the "Agony of Defeat," Hillary Rodham Clinton and her angry white female supporters will
be most anxious to convince DNC honchos that the Clintonistas are united as one big happy family and totally behind Barack Obama, the black dude who will celebrate the "thrill of victory" on Thursday evening.

Hillary's last hurrah for 2008, and opening salvo for 2012, will take place on Tuesday evening in Denver as the fallen "inevitability" queen pays tribute to the 18 million screwballs that voted for her in the primaries.

Incidentally, those 18 million votes gave Hillary the leverage needed to force her tired old body and message into a prime time speaking slot, a priceless jewel that John Edwards could have better used for a four-hour, non-stop mea culpa to atone for his dalliance with Rielle Hunter while kicking off his own campaign for 2012.

Although 18 million votes is an impressive tally, one needs to dig a bit deeper to learn the truth about all those ballots.

In fact, the pro-Hillary vote is not nearly as intimidating when one considers the following break down:

Illegal aliens: 7 Million

Felons: 5 Million

& Buried: 2 Million

Over the hill feminists, desperate to see one of their own serve in a capacity greater than sex-slave/intern in the Oval Office, comprise the remaining four million who voted for the most disliked figure in American politics since Richard M. Nixon.

All told, then, Hillary Clinton's vote count was mostly invalid and not worth counting.

Were she a wise and noble person rather than an ill tempered old bitch, Hillary would retire from politics immediately and spend the rest of her life taking care of Bill Clinton and his wonky heart.

Do that, Hillary, and you are guaranteed to get my vote!