satirebylillpop is a site dedicated to seeing humor in the crazy world in which we find ourselves. Politicians are the primary targets, but sports figures, movie stars and others are victimized when appropriate--and funny!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Castration Plot Leaves Delaware Man Holding the Bag

Satire By John W. Lillpop

People without broad band Internet connections and HDTV are likely to do damn near anything for entertainment and a few laughs.

Take the case of Wilbur Eichman, for instance. This yahoo from Hockessin, Delaware decided to liven up his dreary life by contracting with a thug to bring about the castration of his ex-son-in-law.

As reported by CBS 3 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania (1), Eichman's new hobby would make Reverend Jesse Jackson and his stated designs on certain of Barack Obama's body parts proud indeed.

The story, in part, from CBS 3:

"HOCKESSIN, Del. (CBS 3) ― A Delaware man has been arrested after being accused of arranging a bizarre plot that involved castrating his ex-son-in-law.

"Wilbur Eichman has been charged with one count of criminal solicitation after he paid a man cash to beat up his ex-son-in-law.

"Police say Eichman paid 34-year-old Charles Pernot $1,200 to beat up the victim and even offered up a bonus if Pernot cut off the victim's genitals.

"Investigators said Eichman even wanted his ex-son-in-law's genitals brought to him.

"Pernot was charged with attempted robbery, attempted burglary and conspiracy.

"Eichman was arrested late Saturday and charged with one count of criminal solicitation. He has been arraigned and released after posting a $500 secured bail."

All things considered, installing high speed Internet and HDTV would be far less costly and unlikely to get Eichman thrown in the slammer on a felony count.

As it is, Eichman is left holding the bag with 15 minutes of unwanted fame.

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