satirebylillpop is a site dedicated to seeing humor in the crazy world in which we find ourselves. Politicians are the primary targets, but sports figures, movie stars and others are victimized when appropriate--and funny!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

W. To Roll out TARP for Democrats and the UAW

By John W. Lillpop

After Republicans in the U.S. Senate won a hard fought battle to block a $14 billion welfare subsidy to auto manufacturers, President Bush decided to act unilaterally in defiance of his conservative colleagues by siding with Democrats and the UAW.

To do so it was necessary for the president to reverse his earlier opposition to using funds designated for the Troubled Assets Recovery Program (TARP) for the auto bail out.

Dana Perino, spokeswoman for the president, announced the president's retreat from common sense with the following words:

"Under normal economic conditions we would prefer that markets determine the ultimate fate of private firms," she said.

"However, given the current weakened state of the U.S. economy, we will consider other options if necessary - including use of the TARP program - to prevent a collapse of troubled automakers," Perino added. (1)

Translation: Because W. is and has been such a lame president, he no longer has the political clout to roll out the red carpet for liberals and labor unions; thus, a green TARP is the best W. can offer.

Once again, the Bush policy of ripping the rug out from under conservatives at every opportunity was executed to perfection by the man whose "conservatism" is a very bad joke indeed, one that is no longer funny or even mildly amusing.

Combined with his recent comments which all but relegated the Holy Bible to the status of fanciful novel, W. appears to be engaged in a full court press to convince President-elect Obama to keep him around, ALA Robert Gates, for another bite at the apple.

Strategically, it makes terrific sense since W. knows the neighborhood in and around 1600Pennsylvania, is only slightly more liberal than Obama, and his presence would provide Obama with a perfect "in house" scapegoat when things don't go particularly well.

For example, say General Motors fails to turn a profit by March 31, and an audit by the Car Czar reveals that Rick Wagoner, GM's CEO, has deposited a few billion dollars of taxpayer money into a personal Swiss bank account.

Wagoner has also moved his sorry self into a cave next door to Osama bin Laden in the rugged mountains of Pakistan.

Unimaginable horror for the new president, right? Not necessarily if President Obama could refer all questions about Wagoner and those missing billions to a trustworthy aide-de-camp, George W. Bush.

Obama could open a nationally televised press conference with a few meaningless platitudes about change, and then turn the podium over to Presidential Assistant George W. Bush.

Assistant Bush would be there to answer all of the sharp edged questions from the bloodthirsty media, while President Obama would be free to skate off to an urgent fund raising strategy session for the 2012 campaign.

The big question: What possible role could Assistant Bush fill in the Obama White House?

How about Token Republican, Ambassador to Mexico, and Media Sacrificial Lamb, all rolled up into one dysfunctional bureaucrat?

Who better qualified for such a position than our soon to be unemployed, and otherwise unemployable, George W. Bush?

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