Triangulating Economic Collapse into Soaring Military Re-enlistments

Satire by John W. Lillpop

For nearly eight years, President George W. Bush has been subjected to endless ridicule by those who contend that he lacks the intellectual wherewithal to be president. According to Democrats and the media, that W. stands for "without" when it comes to Bush's native intelligence.

Nonetheless, the president has demonstrated an uncanny ability to trounce liberal "intellectuals," as he did to Al Gore and John Kerry in 2000 and 2004, respectively. For a man allegedly no brighter than a chad riddled paper ballot, W. has done quite well, thank you.

Another sterling example of W.'s stealth brilliance is just now starting to surface. It involves the recent difficulty that the U.S. Armed forces have had in meeting recruitment goals and the devastating economic meltdown that has all but shut down the domestic job market.

Most people would see the issues as separate and completely unrelated.

However, to a cunning strategist like President Bush, the two issues provided a perfect opportunity for classic triangulation!

Namely, there is a problem with maintaining needed military manpower. Obviously, the most efficient solution would be for seasoned military people to re-enlist.

At the same time, all economic indicators suggest that a moderate recession was headed our way. In normal times, a moderate recession would be no cause for great alarm.

However, given the critical manpower dilema facing the military, President Bush sensed that a more severe crisis could be of great benefit to America's defense and security.

Therefore, W. called Henry Paulson into his office and demanded that the Treasury Secretary create a major economic collapse involving trillions of dollars of taxpayer money.

W. also ordered Paulson to assure that details of the economic collapse made headlines in all media venues for several weeks, so as to give the impression that anyone even thinking about leaving the military would be frightened into immediately re-enlisting.

The Bush strategy worked like a charm!

As indicated in the linked story ***, re-enlistment numbers are soaring because of the bad economic news coming out of Washington.

However, what of the trillions of dollars already committed to bailouts? How are those actions to be reversed and taken off the backs of taxpayers?

Once again, George W. Bush wins because in about 50 days he and Laura will be headed to Crawford, Texas, confident in the knowledge that the U.S. military has been adequately reinforced.

As for the economic collapse, W.'s attitude is reported to be as follows: Let Barack Obama and his Democrat colleagues sweat the small stuff!

God Bless President George W. Bush and America!

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http://www.reformer.com/nation/ci_11126017