Obama Hires Omar Epps to Be White House Doc

Satire by John W. Lillpop

While the Internet was rocked by news that President-elect Barack Obama has chosen Dr. Sanjay Gupta, the neurosurgeon and correspondent for CNN and CBS, to be U.S. Surgeon General (1), an equally news worthy appointment slipped through the cracks and received virtually no reportage whatsoever.

Turns out that Omar Epps, otherwise known as Dr. Eric Foreman on the smash TV series titled House, has been offered the position of White House physician.

Which means that Epps, Dr. Foreman that is, will be responsible for the medical care and treatment of the Obama family, including the requisite annual examiniation of the president and reporting results to the media and American people.

Cynics, mostly snotty, racist Republicans, are already lining up to ask what qualifications Epps brings to his new position.

Will the American people be able to sleep soundly knowing that a television actor, rather than a licensed medical professional, will be prescribing medications for the most powerful man on the planet?

Should we fret, if even just slightly, over the fact that that a TV doc will be stabbing BO in the bum when he (TV doc) suspects that a flu bug or nasty boil is causing all that executive wrath?

How will the Secret Service react when Epps says he has to sedate BO in order to do a brain scan? Will VP Joe Biden be authorized to rush over to the Oval Office and take command based on the diagnosis and treatment prescribed by a man who would be more culturally comfortable with a gang knife than a surgeon's scalpel?

What of maladies and suspected maladies too delicate to discuss in great detail on a family web site? Can a TV doc be trusted to keep ultra-sensitive information concerning skeletons in BO's closet private?

Again, the issue boils down to qualifications. Anyone who has watched House knows that Epps is a capable actor and a man of integrity, at least in his role as Dr. Foreman.

But what in the world makes Epps qualified to practice medicine out of the White House?

Obama insiders defend the decision by pointing out that Leon Panetta is without any credentials in intelligence, yet he has been picked to serve as Director of the CIA.

Mediocrity based on precedent seems a damn poor way to staff the president's cabinet, but that is what America is up against with BO.

A "google" of Epps background may provide valuable insight: Turns out that Epps starred in a 2002 flick, Love and Basketball, in addition to other acting gigs while portraying a young black athlete.

Now it makes perfect sense: Epps is perfect because he is a brother who's "got game," and can do some one-on-one hoops with BO in emergencies!


Reference (1)
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/the-trail/2009/01/06/obama_wants_journalist_for_sur.html?hpid=topnews