satirebylillpop is a site dedicated to seeing humor in the crazy world in which we find ourselves. Politicians are the primary targets, but sports figures, movie stars and others are victimized when appropriate--and funny!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Lowering Expectations: Whither the Messiah?

Satire by John W. Lillpop

Barack Obama captured the White House partly because he convinced millions of voters that he is the embodiment of Jesus Christ AND the 12th Imam of Iran, all rolled up into one dysfunctional community organizer who is clean and articulate.

Some naive Christians expect Obama to pay their mortgages, make their car payments, get the IRS off their backs, and cure pesky STDs even without that $350 million that Nancy Pelosi insists is essential to stimulate job growth.

Actually, Pelosi is spot on, provided you agree that it is the job of government to create jobs for pimps and prostitutes, most of whom apply the same due diligence to paying taxes as the average Democrat nominee for a position in the Obama cabinet.

Many Obama-maniacs also believe that their man can walk on water, turn cat urine into unleaded gasoline, and make Nancy Pelosi look normal without spending more than $80,000 a month on botox.

As for Muslim Obama-maniacs, most expect Obama to come rocking out of a well on George W. Bush's ranch in Crawford Texas as the much-awaited Muslim Messiah, after which Obama the Imam will smite W's butt just for spite, and then issue an Executive Order to dissolve Congress and replace the Constitution with Sharia law, effective, retroactively, to January 20.

According to Muslim clerics, Obama the Imam will shut down GITMO immediately, release all inmates on their own recognizance to the care of Osama bin Laden, and order the likeness of all U.S. presidents at Mt. Rushmore to demolished so as to make room for the busts of the 19 terrorists who carried out the 9/11 attacks.

Obama the Imam will then return to Crawford, Texas just to bitch-slap W. around a little more, and will then ascend into a cave-shaped cloud in the sky from which he will rule the world for 1,000 years, or until the trillion dollar stimulus fraud kicks in, whichever comes first.

With all of these presumed powers and capabilities in his tank, one wonders why Obama media spin-doctors are trying to lower expectations?

For example, as reported by Reuters, in part:

"WASHINGTON (Reuters)- President Barack Obama's aides warned Americans on Sunday not to expect instant miracles from the $787 billion economic stimulus bill he will sign this week, but said it would help eventually.

'There will be signs of activity very quickly,' David Axelrod, the White House senior adviser, said on "Fox News Sunday." 'But it's going to take time for that to show up in the statistics. The president has said it's likely to get worse before it gets better.'"

Which begs the question, "Why, then was it essential to approve the bill this weekend and before the bill could actually be read?"

Even more distressing is the fact that since Barack Obama took office three weeks ago, the price of oil has declined while the price at the pump is soaring.

From Yahoo News this report, in part:

"NEW YORK – Crude oil prices have fallen to new lows for this year. So you'd think gas prices would sink right along with them.
Not so.

On Thursday, for example, crude oil closed just under $34 a barrel, its lowest point for 2009. But the national average price of a gallon of gas rose to $1.95 on the same day, its peak for the year. On Friday gas went a penny higher."

So the economy gets worse before it gets better and the price of gasoline is soaring again.

This is what millions of voters had in mind when they turned America to over to this New Age Messiah and corrupt disciples in Congress?