satirebylillpop is a site dedicated to seeing humor in the crazy world in which we find ourselves. Politicians are the primary targets, but sports figures, movie stars and others are victimized when appropriate--and funny!

Monday, June 18, 2007

Should W Consider Early Retirement? In Mexico?

Satire By John W. Lillpop

Given W's untreatable Mexican fetish, it may be prudent to simply shove him out of Air Force One, swaddled in a golden parachute, somewhere over Mexico City.

Remember that the man is nearly 61 years old, and is obviously growing weary and older by the minute. Burned out seems an appropriate diagnosis.

And why shouldn't he be burned out?

After all, working 24/7 to help millions of illiterate peasants invade America is hard work that would wear anyone out!

Even more taxing: Trying to convince non-retarded Americans that the invasion is good for the U.S. economy.

Still even more taxing: Selling the notion that granting amnesty and a path to citizenship to criminals is vital to the national interest.

Just keeping a straight face while delivering that snake oil pitch day after day would be enough to drive most people into mental meltdown.

One wonders: Is that where our president and Mexico's most powerful insider mole is headed?

Some of W's recent pronouncements seem to confirm that his mental stability is "borderline," to say the least:

In April, W roared that amnesty is needed to take pressure off the borders! 12-30 million illegal aliens in our midst and there is too much pressure on the borders?

In May, W said that the amnesty bill before the senate would restore rule of law.

Really? That is almost like saying, "America is governed by the rule of law, except when inconvenient to large corporations and elitists. In which case, congress and the president will simply change the law to legalize what had been illegal, thereby acquitting those guilty of behavior once considered unlawful."

Using the same logic, perhaps we should work to end the crime of armed bank robbery by simply expunging laws that make it unlawful to rob banks?

It was also in May that W appointed a war czar to take over the messes he has created in Iraq and Afghanistan, as well as any other wars he might fancy between now and January 20, 2009.

While he was at it, one wonders why W did not appoint a border czar to shut down the borders and begin deportations?

Or is that Michael Chertoff's responsibility when he is not busy campaigning for amnesty or auditioning for acting roles as The Anti-Christ?

In June, W declared that he will throw an extra $4.4 billion dollars at border security, if only the senate will reconsider S 1348.

This dilly begs the obvious question: If $4.4 billion will make America safer and is vital to homeland security, why has W not acted sooner?

Like September 12, 2001, just to pick a random date out of the air?

Clearly, W is struggling to keep track of his missteps and dances around the truth. He seems to be losing that battle, and needs a long, long, stress free vacation.

We the American people also need a rest. We are BUSHed, to put it mildly.

And other than Bush 41 and his sidekick, Moms Bush, who honestly believes that America can survive another 18 months of the W "Presidency and Legacy Building Enterprise?"

Perhaps a few patriotic Republicans should quietly visit the Oval Office and convince W to hang up his pilot's helmet and take early retirement.

Offer him an attractive golden parachute package and a luxurious villa in Mexico, and W might just take the bait.

Dropping W on the Mexican side of the border would serve other purposes:

Americans would exact a measure of revenge against Mexico for dumping millions of illegal aliens on the American side of the border, and

Best of all, America would have one less English-challenged amnesty crusader to deal with!

John Lillpop is a recovering liberal.