Shortage of Virgins in Islamic Heaven?

Satire By John W. Lillpop

As one who is fascinated by Islam, I admit to being confused when Muslim clerics warn other Muslims to vacate an area targeted for devastation by terrorists in the Islamofacist movement.

On the one hand, I appreciate the fact that clerics are kind enough to warn fellow terrorists of impending doom so that steps can be taken to avoid annihilation.

On the other hand, one of the more appealing aspects of Islam is the promise of 72 virgins commencing with one’s earthly death and ascension into Islamic heaven.

If that promise were true, why would any Muslim cleric worth his weight in IED devices “warn" brothers to leave?

It would seem to make better Muslim sense for clerics to keep that information under their turbans. That way, Muslim brothers fortunate enough to be caught up in the next attack could cash in on those carnal blessings promised in the Koran.

Perhaps there is another answer: Is there a shortfall of virgins in Islamic heaven?

Could it be that G.W. Bush and his coalition of infidels have created a virgin supply-demand imbalance by killing so many terrorists? An imbalance that is threatening to shut down the Virgin Redemption Center (VRC) in Islamic heaven?

What a pity that would be. All those horny Islamofascists robbed of their greatest incentive to murder and maim!