satirebylillpop is a site dedicated to seeing humor in the crazy world in which we find ourselves. Politicians are the primary targets, but sports figures, movie stars and others are victimized when appropriate--and funny!

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Liberalism and Hypocrisy Joined at the Hip!

Satire By John W. Lillpop

Anyone doubting the hypocrisy of liberals should consider the following:

* Execution of a convicted killer is cruel, unusual & barbaric; whereas a woman’s right to abort the life of an innocent child is inalienable;

* Starving a helpless victim like Terri Schaivo to death is acceptable; but using lethal injection to end the life of a brutal child killer is not;

* Discrimination based on race or gender is wrong. Except when waged against Caucasian men, in which case it is mandated by law & called Affirmative Action;

* Invading a foreign nation is wrong, except when aliens from Mexico invade America;

* Democrats are the only hope for American families and labor. But the inconvenient truth is that liberals support the influx of millions of illegal aliens who work for lower wages and without benefits, thereby driving down the standard of living for "average" American citizens;

* Outsourcing of American jobs offshore is driven by immoral corporate greed. By contrast, open borders and amnesty are acceptable because the majority of illegal aliens are future Democrats;

* Huge profits are obscenely un-American, except when enjoyed by George Soros, Oprah Winfrey, the Clintons, the Kennedys, and other liberals;

* Conservatives who seek to preserve American culture are bigoted hate mongers, whereas new immigrants must be allowed to maintain and celebrate their cultural heritage at all costs;

* The traditional American family consisting of one man and one woman and their offspring is just one of several possible arrangements, all of which are equally moral and acceptable. In addition, marriage is no longer necessary to sanctify man-woman relationships.

* Although the institution of marriage is no longer vital to heterosexual partners, it is absolutely essential that same-sex couples be allowed to marry as if they were straight. To do otherwise is to deny gay couples equality and fairness, and is clearly unconstitutional.

* Burning Old Glory is protected free speech, whereas expression of conservative values by people like Rush Limbaugh is unacceptable hate speech and should be subjected to a "fairness doctrine";

* Freedom of speech must never be quashed, except for criticism directed at minorities and other constituencies of the Democrat party;

* Tax cuts are wrong when returned to people who actually paid taxes, but perfectly fine when sent to those who paid none;

* Skyrocketing gasoline prices devastate working American families, but protecting wild life is a greater priority;

* Anyone who supports English as the official American language is a racist. But those who prefer Spanish and other foreign languages are justified because "diversity is our greatest strength;"

* Blocking the sale of port security to the UAE was necessary to protect homeland security, but securing the border with Mexico is wrong because it would "scapegoat" Hispanics;

* Illegal aliens should be licensed to drive--to avoid breaking the law by driving illegally;

* Symbols of Christianity must be kept out of public view so as to offend no one, whereas Islam must be openly promoted in the name of religious awareness and tolerance;

* Businesses are oppressive institutions that must not be allowed to become too large and powerful. By contrast, government creates wealth & happiness and should be expanded whenever possible;

* Military force must never be used, except when needed to advance interests not vital to the United States, or as needed to obscure a Democrat president’s sexual misconduct in the Oval Office.

Think about it-- Are you enough of a hypocrite to be a liberal?

John Lillpop is a recovering liberal and former hypocrite.