satirebylillpop is a site dedicated to seeing humor in the crazy world in which we find ourselves. Politicians are the primary targets, but sports figures, movie stars and others are victimized when appropriate--and funny!

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

What If Monica Lewinski Had Been An Illegal Alien?

By John W. Lillpop

By most accounts, at least those originating with leftists and or Clinton family members, Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton is one of the smartest, if not the absolute smartest, member of the U.S. Congress. And that includes past, present, and future congresses.

Given Ms. Clinton's reputed brilliance, one would expect her to be able to answer a simple question during an important debate. The question was "Do you support Governor Eliot Spitzer's plan to grant diver's licenses to illegal aliens?"

Yes or no?

At the heart of the question looms a much larger issue. Namely, do you support the rule of law? Or are you shamelessly pandering to illegal aliens in order to curry favor with Hispanics?

Yes or no?

Hillary exceeded all expectations by answering Yes and No, at the same time. She was against licenses for illegals before she was for it--90 seconds later.

Even her Democrat opponents, no strangers to word parsing and evasive answers, were astounded by Hillary's vague non- answer.

Nearly a week later, Hillary and her advisors are still trying to put the best spin on her debate performance. Declining poll numbers have added urgency.

"I wasn't at my best the other night," Clinton told CNN's Candy Crowley.

She added, "I think that if you go back and look at the complexity of this issue, I don’t think a lot of these hard questions lend themselves to raising your hand."


Complexity of the issue? Why does that sound hauntingly familiar?

Alas, Hillary's double talk sounds suspiciously like Bill Clinton's "Depends what the definition of Is Is," while Slick Willie was perjuring himself and obstructing justice.

The correct answer is the one offered by Senator Christopher Dodd (D-Conn.) and favored by 77 percent of Hillary's fellow New Yorkers.

Namely, hell NO! Do not grant driver's licenses to criminals. Case closed.

A number of follow-up questions should be posed to Senator Clinton, including these:

If the question about whether or not to enforce domestic immigration law is complex, how do you plan to handle international matters like the never ending war between Israel and the Palestinians?

Do you feel up to the task of sorting out interwoven and tangled world affairs involving diverse nations such as Iran, Iraq, Syria, Russia, Turkey, and China? Will you be able to defend America's interests in a variety of locations all across the globe?

Can you gain the respect and support of the United States military?

And finally, the really Big Question: If Monica Lewinski had been an illegal alien back in 1998, would you have supported granting her a driver's license?

These questions are essential to understanding Hillary better, and must be answered to the satisfaction of we the people!