satirebylillpop is a site dedicated to seeing humor in the crazy world in which we find ourselves. Politicians are the primary targets, but sports figures, movie stars and others are victimized when appropriate--and funny!

Friday, November 02, 2007

You Have Never Used the “N” Word? Can You Prove That?

By John W. Lillpop

Until quite recently, Duane "Dog" Chapman would have probably denied ever using the "N" word.

Emphatically, and with righteous indignation, no doubt.

Unfortunately for the world renowned bounty hunter, his son Tucker taped a telephone conversation in which Dog repeatedly used the N word, interrupted only by an occasional F bomb, all directed at Tucker's girlfriend.

Thus, plausible deniability is not an option here. As I see it, Dog has the following options:

-Claim that he is an aspiring "rapper" and was simply rehearsing the lyrics for what he hopes will be a major musical hit, or

- Join the University of Delaware faculty as Resident Racist in the "All Whites Are Racists" program, or

-Move to Mexico, hire Vicente Fox as political consultant, and run for el presidente.

Chapman has already exhausted the most common steps one typically tries in order to weasel out from under this kerfuffel:

1. Claimed that he was 'disappointed' in his son's choice of a friend, not due to her race, but her character.

So, the N word is a statement about character, not race?

Terrific--can the Dog produce other tapes in which he used the N word when referring to non-blacks?

2. Had his attorney state that Dog is not a racist and vowed never to use the word again.

Not racist, by what definition? The one in the Dummies Guide to Noose Shopping and Cross Burning?

Heaven knows, I do not advocate the use of racial slurs on any occasion, for any purpose. But before we crucify Dog on C-Span, a bit of reflection seems in order.

To begin with, who among us can truthfully state that he/she has never uttered the N word?

From personal experience, I shall always remember mentioning to an uncle how excited I was at the prospect of seeing Willie Mays play in San Francisco. My uncle took the wind out of my sails when he bluntly asked “He’s a N*****, ain’t he?”

My face turned a deep, deep purple at this racist denigration of a baseball hero, and my speechless embarrassment brought about great hilarity among my cousins who were obviously accustomed to their father’s indelicate language.

Later in life, while reading a biography of President Harry S. Truman titled Plain Speaking, I was astonished to learn that the thirty-third President of the United States used the N word regularly. But Truman was also credited with integrating the U.S. armed forces at a time when doing so was not the PC thing to do.

Lyndon Johnson, the thirty-seventh President of the United States, was also allegedly one to drop an N bomb now and again. Of course, President Johnson was instrumental in getting the Civil Rights Act of 1964 signed into law.

So, before castigating Dog completely, one should answer the question, "You Have Never Used the N Word?"

And the more important follow-up query, "Can you prove that?