satirebylillpop is a site dedicated to seeing humor in the crazy world in which we find ourselves. Politicians are the primary targets, but sports figures, movie stars and others are victimized when appropriate--and funny!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Hillary: Growing Old Quickly, and Without Grace

By John W. Lillpop

Take a good look at a recent photograph of Hillary Clinton. Notice the bags under her bloated eyes, the turkey giblet developing below her neck, the heavy wrinkles and deep lines all across her forehead and face.

The junior senator from New York has that exhausted look common to people who have stopped celebrating (and counting!) birthdays when the count reaches 60, as it did for Hillary in October.

Right in front of God, C-Span, and the American people, Hillary Clinton is passing from an annoying young hippie-beach to an annoying old spent hag.

Hillary Clinton's better days are clearly long gone. While America desperately searches for vibrant, new leadership to take over the White House, Hillary is the epitome of "old school," with decided emphasis on old.

But what has caused such rapid aging of America's most hated public figure since Richard M. Nixon croaked?

Too many campaign miles, what with the endless rubber chicken suppers, living out of a suitcase, and the need to create a fresh lie every day to feed the ravenous media?

Or are Hillary's wrinkles the result of endless pandering and groveling for campaign funds, especially now that Norman Hsu is no longer available to steal or commit fraud on her behalf?

Turns out, Hillary's demise is much simpler to explain. Remember, she shares her life with a corrupt, double-talking hillbilly who is addicted to sexual infidelity. That would be Slick, who is also a world class liar, and one of the crudest people on the world stage.

Did someone actually say that Slick was supposed to be an asset to Hillary's presidential campaign?

Well, just 2 weeks ago, Bill Clinton kicked Hillary off of the front page with his ludicrous assertion that he was opposed to the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq before it was launched.

That whopper caused Burger King's lawyers to file a copyright infringement suit against Slick, and reminded America of the Clintons' zero tolerance when it comes to truth.

Just when the flap from that dilly was subsiding, Slick again stoked the fires of insanity by suggesting that one of President Hillary Clinton's first acts would be to send Slick and Bush-41 out to the world as Goodwill Ambassadors for America.

Their assignment? Repair damage done to America, the world, and possibly the entire universe by the incompetent, retarded son of Bush-41, also known as Bush-43, Dubya, and W, among other names not suitable for a family publication or web site.

Can't you just picture Bush-41, now in his 80s, trotting all across the globe with Slick to rebuild America's image by repudiating his own flesh and blood? Good grief, is Slick really that clue less?

Of course, Bush-41 immediately rejected the plan out of hand, leaving both Clintons looking foolish again!

All of which proves that Hillary's physical deterioration is most surely related to her stressful life with Slick.

Do yourself a favor, Hillary, dump that loser, get the name of Nancy Pelosi's botox doc, and watch those wrinkles and bags disappear!