satirebylillpop is a site dedicated to seeing humor in the crazy world in which we find ourselves. Politicians are the primary targets, but sports figures, movie stars and others are victimized when appropriate--and funny!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Of Mensa-free Celebrities, Suck It! Hate Speech, and the Nuclear Codes

By John W. Lillpop

There is a perfectly logical reason why Mensa, the worldwide society for certified intellectuals, has no members or chapters in Hollywood.

Think Matt Damon and Pam Anderson and the reason becomes profoundly obvious! To prove the point, these so-called celebrities recently tried their hands at political mud slinging, with Governor Sarah Palin as their first target.

Damon, dumb actor turned political pundit, showed his wares by comparing Governor Palin's candidacy to a "Really bad Disney movie," and questioned Palin's stability when he stated, "I need to know if she really thinks that dinosaurs were here 4,000 years ago. I want to know that, I really do. Because she's gonna have the nuclear codes."

Although Damon lacks the political insight and analytical punch needed to serve as a credible Big Bird on Sesame Street, he must nonetheless be regarded as a minor expert on really bad films, Disney or otherwise.

After all, his own resume is cluttered with real stinkers.

Bourne Identity immediately comes to mind as a rambling, pointless Grade B fairy tale about Jason Bourne (played by Damon) found floating in the ocean with several bullet wounds, including a head wound which has given him amnesia, and leaves him with no recollection of where he has been or where he is headed.

Being brain dead and clue less about the past and future would, of course, make Jason Bourne a perfect candidate for inscription into the Barack Obama "Change We Can Believe In" fairly tale.

And playing Jason Bourne was an ideal role for Matt Damon because all had to do was be himself, left-wing neurosis and all. No need to lament the lack of talent this time, Matt.

Lest we be too flippant, it should be noted that Damon's concern about the nuclear codes is a worthy one.

However, electing Barack Obama is hardly the answer.

That unwise choice would place the code in the hands of an inexperienced Marxist whose past associations include unsavory characters like Weather Underground terrorist William Ayes, Islamofascist apologist Rev. Jeremiah Wright, and “Tony” Rezko.

Damon and thinking citizens would have far less to fret about were the nuclear code entrusted to a conservative governor with executive experience, unquestionable loyalty to America and our way of life, and a mother's appreciation for the sanctity of all human life.

So what if Governor Palin believes that dinosaurs roamed the earth 4,000 years ago? At least she is not so naive as to think that terrorists have legitimate causes, or that determining the "root causes" behind 9/11 might make Osama bin Laden seem more human, wacky positions taken by Barack Obama.

Besides, how in the world can Damon be so certain about what was happening 4,000 years ago?

Damon was joined in the Hollywood Kool-aid march for infanticide and insanity by Pamela Anderson, another leftist nut ball whose IQ is so impressive that she was designated as "The Sexiest Woman on Television," a true testament to her lofty brain power.

Anderson upgraded the political debate with this thoughtful input about Governor Palin, " “I can’t stand her,” Pam blurted out. “She can suck it!”

Thank you for sharing those reassuring words of wisdom, Pamela.

For your next act, please disrobe, then Sit Down And Shut Up!

Of course, the real nut balls in all of this are we the people who dwell on words originating with the likes of Matt Damon and Pam Anderson.

Who cares, or should, what either one of these characters thinks about anything, least of all important political questions?