Legacy Panic Replaces Shock & Awe: Can U.S. Survive W's Final Days?

Satire By John W. Lillpop


The most urgent question facing America these days is as follows:

Has George W. Bush ceased taking his medications during the waning days of his presidential crusade against evil doers?

More specifically, is there a medical doctor in or about the White House who can examine the president and make any necessary adjustments to assure that our lame duck does not blow up the planet between now and approximately 4 PM on January 20?

These questions deserve serious consideration in light of recent decisions emanating from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

In the last few days, for instance, North Korea has made headlines by booting UN inspectors from the country, test firing missiles, taking steps to restart a nuclear reactor, and threatening to make war with South Korea.

In the good old days when W was fully medicated and otherwise under wraps, such behavior would have prompted an immediate "shock and awe" order from America's preemptive president and tough- as- nails commander-in-chief.

It would have been bombs away, and in your face, Kim Yong Il!

However, the lame duck waddling through the White House these days has decided to try an entirely unique approach in dealing with dangerous renegades.

Namely, North Korea is to be removed from U.S. list of state sponsors of terrorism.

YAHOO


Got it, Kim Yong Il? You are no longer considered a terrorist! Your evil doer days are kaput.

To prove it, W has sent billions in foreign aid cash, food, and presidential-quality liquor to the goofy madman. Take that Il!

To make matters worse, W's altered mindset has not gone unnoticed in other parts of the world.

Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Russia's Vladimir Putin, and Venezuela's Hugo Chavez are all reportedly planning anti-American acts of terrorism in order to capitalize on W's wobbly condition.

It is also reported that certain CEOs from Wall Street have entered into confidential Multi-million dollar consulting contracts with China and Cuba to advise those communist states how best to profit during the last days of America's worst president in history.

After all, Wall Street tycoons successfully blackmailed W into giving the barons of finance $825 billion for the socialization of America's stock market and toxic assets.

Who better, then, to advise our enemies about how to best take advantage of the "legacy panic" that has W in a snit these days?