Of Keith Olbermann, Starbursts, and Soft Porn

Satire By John W. Lillpop

In a review of the debate between the candidates for vice president, National Review editor Rich Lowry wrote the following, in part:

"I'm sure I'm not the only male in America who, when Palin dropped her first wink, sat up a little straighter on the couch and said, 'Hey, I think she just winked at me.' And her smile. By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, it was so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing. It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America. This is a quality that can't be learned; it's either something you have or you don't, and man, she's got it."

Fearing that another wave of Sarahmania was about to erupt all across America, thereby jeopardizing the coronation of Barack Obama, Keith Olbermann immediately designated Lowry as a "worst person" for consideration by those who actually watch his show, mostly moonlighting pharmacists and on-call psychiatric nurses.

Olbermann,former sports caster turned intellectual pundit and water boy for the DNC, said Lowry's article, "read like soft core porn," and concluded, "I don't really care if you sat there last night during the debate and masturbated. But was it really necessary to tell America about it?"

Although lacking in any redeeming social value, the Olbermann drivel made it clear that the failed sportscaster indulges in porn, and,apparently enough of it, to know soft porn from the more pernicious genre, good old fashioned hard porn, a favorite among perverted lefties.

No doubt, Olbermann reads his porn after he runs out of box scores to mull over. Anything to keep the old mind sharp and alert, right Keith?

As to the masturbation jibe, where did that dilly come from? From the deep recesses of a diseased brain, one that finds football highlight films sexually stimulating?

Perhaps Olbermann was merely exposing his own sexual proclivities?

Did the host of "Countdown" spend last Saturday night alone in a dark room watching a replay of the VP debate?

While focusing on the images of the Democrat VP nominee?