Female Astronaut Proves Woman's Place In Home, Not Outer Space

Satire By John W. Lillpop

Just as Nancy Pelosi proved beyond any doubt that a woman's rightful place is in the home, but definitely not the U.S. House, so it is that Astronaut Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper has confirmed that women are more suitable for mundane household chores than the intricate, highly technical work required of an astronaut.

Because of Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper, a crucial tool bag floated out to space during a repair trip, sending flight controllers into a mad scramble to revamp plans for space walks during space shuttle Endeavour's visit to the international space station.

"What it boils down to is all it takes is one small mistake for a tether not to be hooked up quite correctly or to slip off, and that's what happened here," said lead space walk officer John Ray. *

Ray's statement sidestepped the central truth is this misadventure:

Women astronauts are too obsessed with making sure that their lipstick and mascara are just right, in case their images are beamed back to Earth, to concentrate fully on the delicate maneuvers required on a space mission.

For example, Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper's inability to hang on to a crucial tool bag was probably due to her concern about protecting her fingernails from breaking or some other nonsense, rather than dedication to the task at hand.

Still, the astronaut lady is probably one hell of a lot smarter and more qualified that Nancy Pelosi.

Why not install Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper as Speaker of the U.S. House, and shoot Pelosi into outer space in the direction of Mars?



*SPACE: