Nancy Pelosi Educates Pope Benedict on Abortion, Church Teachings

Satire by John W. Lillpop

After working 24/7 to drive America into deep depression by ramming an outrageous liberal spending bill through the U.S. House, Speaker Nancy Pelosi (Dunce-CA) escaped to Rome where the addle brained grandma decided to educate Pope Benedict on the church's teachings with regard to abortion.

Misinformed sources tell this reporter that the Vatican is actively covering up what really happened behind closed doors between the Pope and Pelosi by spreading a false story that has the Pope chastising Pelosi for her pro-abortion hypocrisy.

According to Vatican propaganda, Pope Benedict told Pelosi that "Catholic politicians have a duty to protect life at all stages of development."

Those in a position to know tell a much different story, in which Pelosi took the lead by informing the Pontiff in no uncertain terms that the "Catholic doctors had not yet decided when life begins and that, according to her belief system, abortion is an inalienable right guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution."

Pelosi reportedly went on to remind the Pope that a bedrock of American Democracy is the separation of church and state, a principal mandated somewhere in the bowels of the Constitution.

Unconfirmed accounts have it that, upon conclusion of her pro-abortion pitch, Pelosi requested a private Holy Communion with the Pontiff to toast his "progressive awakening" on abortion, the Catholic Church, and the U.S. Constitution.

Vatican officials deny that account, and claim that Pope Benedict has drafted a final press release that will set the record straight, once the "expletive deleted" expressions have been replaced with words more appropriate for a servant of God!