satirebylillpop is a site dedicated to seeing humor in the crazy world in which we find ourselves. Politicians are the primary targets, but sports figures, movie stars and others are victimized when appropriate--and funny!

Friday, March 30, 2007

Speaker Pelosi Off to Syria: Why?

by John W. Lillpop

Speaker Pelosi has left Washington, D.C., to visit Syria. That is the good news.

The bad news: She is coming back!

Pelosi's sojourn has gossipmongers and political pundits working overtime to answer the $60,000 question: Why?

Doesn't Pelosi realize that she has already done enough damage to the United States with her mind-numbing surrender?

Experts say Pelosi is probably going to Syria for one or more of the following reasons:

* Promote the Pelosi Doctrine for the middle east which calls for the impeachment of George W. Bush and the resurrection of Saddam Hussein, both on Easter Sunday;

* Explain the surrender bills passed in the House and the Senate, and to set a "Date Certain" for resolving all differences into a final bill that terrorists can live with;

* Celebrate First Quarter achievements with Islamofascist sponsors and
get marching orders for 2nd Quarter;

* Offer the full time services of William J. Jefferson as Ethics and Banking adviser to Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. Jefferson's salary and all living expenses to be paid by the DNC, provided Jefferson does not return to U.S. before the day after the elections on November 4, 2008;

* Formally apologize to Syria for the shameful behavior of the Bush administration with regard to 14 innocent Syrian musicians who were viscously harassed during a Northwest Airlines flight from Detroit to Los Angeles in 2004. Pelosi will refer the Syrian government to the San Francisco chapter of the ACLU for further action.

As a gesture of goodwill, Pelosi will also offer to hire the 14 musicians (at minimum wage) to perform at the Gay Pride festivities in San Francisco on June 20;

* Get fitted for a Niqab, the traditional Muslim face wear for women, just in case the "Islam thing" takes hold in the U.S.

* Demonstrate her Islam-friendly politics by traveling with Rep. Keith Ellison, America's first and only Muslim elected to Congress. Pelosi plans to keep a detailed account of all racial profiling and other discrimination suffered by Ellison at airports, in bars, and on the plane in order to argue for repeal of the Patriot Act, and

* Fly in one of those cool 757 air force jets that the Air Force refuses to let her use for fund raising scams in San Francisco.

All in all, Pelosi's trip is good for America because while she is out of the country at least she is not making stupid "Tax and Surrender" laws!

Go, Nancy, Go.

Stay there, Nancy, Stay there!

John Lillpop is a recovering liberal.