John McCain for President--of Panama!

By John W. Lillpop

The riddle involving John McCain's disdain for American citizens in favor of illegal aliens has finally been answered. Sort of answered, that is.

As it turns out, McCain was not born in the contiguous 48 states (the number of states way back when he was hatched) after all. He was, in fact, born in the Panama Canal Zone in 1936.

All of which brings up a thorny, but exciting question: Does McCain meet the "natural-born citizen" provision of the U.S. Constitution when it comes qualifying to be the president?

The issue will surely be brought up by Democrats in the general election should McCain be the Republican nominee. Legal scholars from all over the nation will spend billions of dollars to research, debate, and answer the burning question of our times: Is John McCain legit?

From a purely ideological perspective, the answer is a resounding NO! This man, John McCain, is unqualified to occupy the White House because of his anti-American positions on taxes, free speech, global warming, and most importantly, illegal aliens.

Republicans who really care for America should beat the Democrats to the punch and seize the moment. Why not declare John McCain ineligible for the presidency based on constitutional grounds, and do so now?

Follow that decree with an urgent plea to Mitt Romney that he "unsuspend" his campaign immediately. Awarding all delegates secured by McCain to Romney seems a reasonable, equitable way to resolve this messy kerfuffel.

Which is not to dismiss John McCain's presidential aspirations entirely. Let John McCain be the president--of Panama!