satirebylillpop is a site dedicated to seeing humor in the crazy world in which we find ourselves. Politicians are the primary targets, but sports figures, movie stars and others are victimized when appropriate--and funny!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Just How “Slick” Is Bill Clinton?

By John W. Lillpop

Liberal media spin masters, in cahoots with the Democrat Party, have always portrayed Bill Clinton as the smartest man in Washington, perhaps the entire planet.

According to these pillars of wisdom, Clinton may in fact be the most intelligent being to have ever lived, including Jesus Christ, and excepting only Franklin Roosevelt, Karl Marx, Vladimir Lenin, and the mother of all leftists, Hillary.

The fact that Bill Clinton became ensnared in a sordid affair with a subordinate intern in the White House at the exact same time that his alleged sexual harassment of Paula Jones was being investigated by a special prosecutor and hostile U.S. Congress does not matter.

The fact that Clinton was impeached for perjury and obstruction of justice does not matter.

The fact that Clinton was disbarred from practicing law in Arkansas and prohibited from arguing before the U.S. Supreme Court because of perjury and obstruction of justice does not matter.

The fact that Clinton avoided serving in the U.S. military, but protested America’s involvement in the Vietnam War on foreign soil does not matter.

The fact that Clinton refused to take Osama bin Laden into custody on two separate occasions does not matter.

The fact that Clinton destroyed morale in the U.S. military by implementing the “Don’t ask, Don’t Tell” policy does not matter.

The fact that Clinton made “Don’t ask, don’t tell” the first item on his agenda after taking office does not matter.

The fact that Clinton chose to pardon several unsavory characters in the final hours of his term in office does not matter.

The fact that Clinton attempted to ram socialized health care down the throats of the American people by assigning the project to a non-elected, nonmedical twit—his wife Hillary—does not matter.

The fact that Clinton did irreparable harm to an entire generation of American youth by pretending that oral copulation is not really sex does not matter.

The fact that Clinton promoted a reckless, irresponsible attitude toward marital fidelity, promiscuity, and family values does not matter.

The fact that Clinton failed to provide an honorable and decent role model for America’s impressionable youth does not matter.

Despite all his disgusting and stupid behavior, leftists still regard Clinton as “too smart to measure” when it comes to IQ points.

On a “brilliance” scale of 1 to 10, liberals inevitably score Clinton as a 30.

But given Bill Clinton’s recent performance on the campaign trail for Hillary, one suspects that Slick's image as a genius may be cause for some serious second thinking, even by dedicated leftists.

For instance, Caroline and Ted Kennedy endorsed Barack Obama over Hillary Clinton just this past week. Senator Kennedy expressed concern about Slick's race-baiting and endless struggle with the truth.

John Kerry also jumped aboard the Obama train, to the consternation of the Clinton camp and Slick. A growing number of liberals are asking Slick to butt out in order to save Hillary's wrinkled skin.

Al Sharpton said it best when he bluntly ordered Slick to "shut up!" after the former president had blind sided Obama with another unethical attack.

Several weeks ago, Slick even suggested that once Hillary was stuffed away in the Oval office, Bush-41 and Slick himself should be sent on a global mission to repair the incredible damage inflicted on the image of the U.S. by the present President Bush, who just happens to be the son of Bush-41.

That bit of tawdry hillbilly illogic was quickly put to rest by Bush-41 the next day.

Nonetheless, the question remains: How in the world can a person of “superior intelligence” even utter something so nonsensical?

Which leads one to another question: Just How “Slick” Is Bill Clinton?